Category Archives: fun

Coming Out of the Raid Closet

I am the stereotypical DPSer that every healer hates. I am the person that gets made fun of in trade channel. Who am I? I am Pike, and…

I HAVE NEVER LIVED THROUGH HEIGAN OR SARTH.

There. I said it.

Maybe it’s a graphics thing. I haven’t been able to see any bridges in the game, for example, or several building skins, since patch 2.2 or thereabouts. I’ve plummeted to my death in Thunder Bluff more times than I can count.

Maybe it’s a me-being-an-idiot thing. Hey, it’s more likely than you may (or may not?) think.

But whatever the reason, I cannot see these supposed waves of fire and lava that everyone else and their pet monkey can see.

My name is Pike, and I die on Heigan and Sarth.

/bow

Rumors of My Rerolling Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

So I have a paladin who I’ve been spending a little time on each day, and I have a resto druid who randomly wound up with her very first old-school Badge of Justice the other day (Yes, it is apparently quite possible for a level 65 tree to heal a level 80 tankadin through level 70 heroics), but you gotta understand something. Namely, you can take the girl outta the hunter but you can’t take the hunter outta the girl. Or something along those lines.

Heck, scratch the girl part, you can be a hot blood elf guy too:

wow_althalorlevel40portrait

Althalor is now level 40. For the uninitiated, that means I now have a level 80 hunter, a level 70 hunter, and a level 40 hunter. And once you toss all my dozens of sub-20 hunters into the mix, I’ve clocked well over 200 collective levels in this class. Probably closer to 250.

Yes, yes, I know. But hey, I can’t help myself. Once you go pewpew, you can’t go… uh… I’ll get back to you on that one.

So yes, I am here to ease the panic that sometimes occurs on blogs, comments, e-mails, and the WoW Twitterati (term coined by one Matticus) when I briefly dip into a non-hunter interlude. Be not afraid– Pike is a hunter, and this is a hunter blog. One lil’ treedrood and one lil’ baby protadin are no match for the Hunter Mafia. I mean, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the leveling of two little alts doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy World of Warcraft.

Eh? Ehhh? See what I did there?

/cough

Okay, I’ll stop now. >.>

(P.S. Okay, so maybe not that many people are panicking. But I can pretend, at least, to make it more dramatic.)

Dear John. I mean Steady Shot.

Dear Steady Shot,

We used to be such great friends. Oh how I loved getting to level 62 on my hunters so I could get you. Oh how excited I was. I loved weaving you between my Auto Shots so much. I dedicated instructional videos to you. I told people how fun you were. I gave you a special spot on my action bar. We had matching BFF necklaces. I carved a heart and “Pike + Steady Shot” into my resident resto druid. I’d tell people that I wished I could quit you, but I didn’t mean it of course, for how could we ever part?

It was a match made in heaven; the world was our burrito.

Then you decided to unlink yourself from Auto Shot, and it was good for DPS. But it came at a terrible cost. Suddenly all you cared about was being spammed. Suddenly that was all you wanted, and suddenly I just couldn’t press you fast enough.

And suddenly we weren’t friends anymore.

I pondered all my options, but none of them were really satisfactory. I could respec into something different that would allow me to use other, more welcoming shots, but my pets love being all strong and competitive and I couldn’t bring myself to take that away from them. I could play my lowbie hunters that didn’t have Steady Shot yet. And, actually, I have been doing just that. But then I miss Heroics and Raids so I come back to you, Steady Shot.

But then I realize that you stopped making Heroics and Raids fun a long time ago.

Well Steady Shot, it’s been a long ride, but it’s just not working out. You’re bein’ nerfed, and you will no longer be a key I have to unthinkingly pound. I caught up with an old friend lately. His name is Arcane Shot. He took me out to dinner the other night in Dalaran. He’s romantic and funny and you, Steady Shot, are just going to have to be his backup because it’s over between us.

No hard feelings; we simply had separate goals. I’ll cherish the good times, and remember– we’ll always have Kara.

Sincerely, Pike

You Know You Might Be Pike If…

1.) You go crying to your boyfriend after a failed Naxx PuG about how much you miss Karazhan. That’s right, Karazhan. Because a raid simply is not a raid without Harpsichord music playing on the stairs. It just isn’t. (And honestly, judging by all the nostalgic comments suddenly popping up on Karazhan YouTube movies these past couple of weeks, I’m not the only one who feels this way.)

2.) A raid also isn’t a raid without pizza, and this has become so hardwired into you that a mere whiff of a Domino’s box makes you think of trash pulls.

3.) 3.0.8? ZOMGSQUEE SHOT ROTATIONS! Arcane Shot! <3 No more Steady spam! What's that you say, nerfs? Oh, right, yeah, that too. ...OMGSQUEE SHOT ROTATIONS! 4.) You have convinced everyone around you that you don't need the Spirit Beast and have almost convinced yourself of that same thing, when you suddenly feel this urge to fly in circles around Sholazar Basin for three hours, "looking for herbs". And speaking of herbs... 5.) You are an alchemy freak. 6.) And you make really dorky Fullmetal Alchemist jokes in /guild or Ventrilo anytime you transmute something. 7.) And you think a screenshot of a gnome doing said transmutation while standing next to an Arcane Guardian would be the funniest thing of all time.

8.) You can’t decide whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that your third attempt at playing a paladin… might actually result in something this time.

9.) You find it mind-numbingly hilarious that said stoic paladin is currently wielding a Kobold Mining Shovel. “I AM THE DEFENDER OF THE LIGHT AND ALL THAT IS HOLY. AND DIRT.” /whack

10.) You regularly inform Trade Chat that there are no girls on the internets.

11.) Expansions may come and go, but guild in-jokes are forever.

12.) You forego things like “2000 DPS unbuffed” in your LFG note in favor of “I have freezing traps and cookies <3". 13.) And it works and gets you into groups. 14.) Your Serpent Sting brings all the rogues to the yard. 15.) One of your hunters has tamed three different skins of the same cat model.

16.) You enjoy pointing out to people that you think a lot of the music in game was inspired by Gustav Holst and subsequently sensing those people give off “tl;dr” vibes.

17.) You say things like “oh my heck”, “oh snap” and “goshdangit” on Ventrilo during wipes.

18.) You take roughly five minutes to give profound and heartfelt apologies to the group anytime one of your traps is resisted.

19.) Anytime somebody in guildchat/Trade Chat/et al asks some question about hunters and you launch into a dissertation about it, your boyfriend cries out “NOOOO DON’T GET HER STARTED!”

20.) You are supposed to be packing for your impending move, but are writing this list instead.

Pike Has No Class

(Shamelessly stolen from a couple other blogs)

Pike rolled a druid. She Wrathed and Moonfired her way up to about level 5 and then got bored and quit. Several months later she rolled another druid. This time she got to level 10 and got Bear Form! Then she got bored and quit. Another several months later she rolled a third druid, somehow managed to get to level 15ish… and was promptly invited to heal Deadmines and then SFK. “What… what is this… this healy thing is… fun?” Pike respec’d to Resto and is now level 64. Trees ftw baby.

Pike rolled a hunter. She thought it was a weird silly class until level 30 or so at which point something clicked. Then she rolled another hunter, and another hunter, and another hunter, and made a hunter blog, and rolled another hunter, and and and…

Pike rolled a mage. She liked it except that she kept dying, running out of mana, and running into hunters in Deadmines who looked like they were having ten times more fun than she was. Mage shelved at level 21. Though she did end up rolling another mage later that she has been having more fun with. (Must log into more often.)

Pike rolled a paladin. She tried doggedly to make this her “secondary main” way back when she’d first started playing. She tried hard. She got to level 17. Then she realized she was spending way too much time fumbling around with this confusing seals-thing and dying all the time (yes, as a paladin) while hunters ran blissfully past with their pets. Paladin shelved. Pike has since tried to make new paladins because she likes the lore behind them but she fails miserably every time she tries.

Pike rolled a priest. It was fun but didn’t seem to “hook” her at all. Priest shelved at level 8. She has since rolled a few more priests but none of them have gotten past level 10. Bugger.

Pike rolled a rogue. She got to level 8 and decided she didn’t like it and shelved it. Pike rolled another rogue much later, with a backstory that she really liked a lot. Pike found roguing slightly more intriguing this time but not intriguing enough. Rogue shelved at level 10; no real interest in trying again.

Pike rolled a draenei shaman. She got to level 7 and decided it was the most confusing class in the world and turned that shaman into a bank alt. Later Pike made a new Hordie shaman who was actually pretty fun and reached level 10, but then she got distracted. Shaman on indefinite hiatus.

Pike rolled a warrior. She got to level 6 and then rerolled hunter. Warrior turned into a bank alt.

Pike rolled a warlock. She kept telling her imp to tank and then wondering why he was so horrible at it, and why it took eight million years to cast Shadowbolt. She eventually fumbled her way into getting a Voidwalker but, as usual, got distracted. Warlock on hiatus; Pike feels better leaving the ‘locking to her boyfriend.

Pike rolled a Death Knight. It was actually really fun, although she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Then she was booted out of the starting zone into Hellfire Peninsula which was being heavily camped by about 500 other Death Knights. DK on hiatus.

And there you have it. Other than hunters and that random lucky resto druid, Pike really does have no class. … -es. /cough

Epics (Warning: Cute Overload Inside)

So I thought that after my self-present, my birthday couldn’t get any better…

reddrakemount

…but it did.

Remember when my sister made me Tawyn and Tux out of pom-poms?

Imagine my delight when I opened up a box and out popped Eltanin, my beloved windserpent:

eltaninplushie1

eltaninplushie2

Spitting image, no? He’s jumbo-sized too, with a wingspan of well over a foot from tip to tip. And oh so cuddly!

Go on, tell me I’m not the luckiest hunter ever! I dare ya.

(To see more of my sister’s creativeness, I invite you to check out her website, where she has crafted all the druid forms for both races, and every single character from Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Seriously, how am I supposed to compete with that much awesomeness?)

With All Due Respect to Alamo

Welcom 2 Pike teeches u 2 play HUNTAR!

Do u liek huntars? I do! Lots of stuff huntars can do. Shots stuff, play ded, roll over. Huntar gets pets for taim and every1 luvs huntar in grup. Taht is why lotsa huntars in LFG. U shuld try it!


Sum huntar is for steady shot spam. Sum huntar is for traps and sum huntar is for scattershots LOLZ!

First huntar, Beastmaestr is for if you liek to be big an red like Big Red gum LOL! EXcept u not so sticky. Unless u use traps mabye! Beastmaestr is for use steady shot, kill command, ummm… ya beastmaestr is for DPS DONT LISTEN TO WAT ANY1 ELSE SAYS!!


Second huntar is Marks Man. Liek a man who marks sumthing. They get scattershots, maybe maek u scatterbrained 2 use?? Anyways tehy got big numbers, tehy gots 2 multishot BUT DON’T BREAK SHEEP u got to be nice to mages they make u water.


Third huntar is Survival DON’T BE VOTED OFF TEH ISLAND LULZ! They get reely good traps, can trap stuff 4ever and this 1 tiem i actually got 2 go to a RAID!! And tehy had a survival huntar and he trapped Moros’ freind 4 liek FIFTEEN MINUTES!!! Ya!

So u decide wut type of huntar u want to play ok. Next u use your aspects. Monkey is 4 fighting wit sword and 4 monkeying aroudn J/K! But u no try to fite with sword 2 much. Hawk is gud 4 pewpew that is wut huntars are for 😉 Viper is 4 mana but R U A CLOTHIE?? I DONT TIHNK SO! But sum huntars need mana so its ok. I need mana sometiems but dont tell any1. Acually I need mana lots its embarasing lol ><

Tehn u decide on pets, cat is good pet bcuz CAT IS FOR FITE OK. Ravager, dinosour also good. Tehy r DINO-MYTE! U use pet and u shoot stuff! See huntar is fun. Sum ppl tel u that durid, teh ret pally, staff warlock is fun but tehy are missing out when they dont play huntar.


Now remembar ALL HUNTAR IS GOOD IN GRUOPS, every1 lieks them but they are scared 2 invite u in group or 2 raid, cuz u are just 2 awsome 4 them! So u juts got to keep tryin, sumday u can go to teh raid just liek me! Rmember all wepons with agil, int, stam is gud for u. Now u go out there and HAV FUN! 🙂

(So yeah, this started out as So You Want to Play a Hunter? Part 11. I got carried away with the intro, it would appear… oops? Anyways, enjoy the silliness, I figured a lot of us could use some!)

Boom De Yadda

Ahem.

“It never gets old, does it?”
“Nope.”
“Kinda makes you want to…”
“Roll another hunter?”
“…well, that’s not where I was going, but…”

I love each of my pets
And I love Steady Shot
I love The Beast Within
I love more stable slots
I love my hunters
I think I’m quite obsessed
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda

I love to Feign Death
And Aspect of the Hawk
I love to bother rogues
I love when Frenzy procs
I love my hunters
And all their epicness
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda

I love my Choco-Bow
I love my Agi ‘chants
I love crit rating
And non-revealing pants
I love my hunters
I play them all day long
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda

I love to chain trap
And I love kiting things
I love the jump-shot
I even love my stings
I love my hunters
And all they stuff they do
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda

I love to Misdirect
And I love Kill Command
I love to Aimed Shot priests
And weave my shots by hand
I love my hunters
I really, really do
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda
Boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda, boom de yadda…

(Inspired by this, this, and finally this.)