Tag Archives: fun

Eyes of the Beast: What Your Pet Is Really Thinking (Repost)

(I am reposting this since it literally disappeared off the face of my blog, comments and all, about six hours after I posted it on the morning of April 3rd. I have no idea how or why it happened, and I am sad to say that the original twentysome comments that were left on it and that I have copies of in my Inbox… cannot be recovered. My apologies for the extraordinarily bizarre mixup >.<)

washportrait1Recently Tawyn got in touch with an engineer of some repute and was able to fit out her raptor, Wash, with an extraordinary and experimental communication collar. The collar recorded the thoughts in Wash’s head– thoughts he couldn’t otherwise vocalize due to the limitations of his facial muscles. She let Wash wear this collar to a recent raid on Naxxramas, and upon playing it back later she was… surprised… at what she heard…

Anub’rekhan
Giant spidery things. Great. I was looking forward to that all morning. Have I mentioned lately that I’m arachnophobic? Just a wee bit? I don’t get why all these joints gotta be scary, anyways. One of these days I’d like to raid Fluffywing Lai– OOOOOO KIBLER’S BITS GIMME GIMME GIMME AHAHA MMMMMMMM I LOVE YOU ^_^

Grand Widow Faerlina
Hey there babe. I can see why all those adds hang out next to you. Perhaps you’d like to… add me to that list? Eh? Eh? …oh come on it wasn’t that bad of a pun, now why are you flinging fireballs around? What did I ever do to you? Meh, at least you’re not a giant spider.

Maexxna
…you’ve gotta be kidding me.

Noth the Plaguebringer

Ugh I’m glad I’m out of that spider zone and we can move on to something slightly more normal. This guy here, looks like a normal tank’n’spank. You know, like the good ol’ times. In fact I… OHCRAPSKELETONS

Heigan the Unclean
WHOO you can smell this guy from a mile away. Hasn’t taken a bath in weeks I’m sure. As for dancing, I’ll show you how it’s OHMYGOSHDISEASEGETITOFFGETITOFF ahhhh… that was a close one. Okay, now for my dance moves. And one and two and AHHHHHHHPOISONPOISONPOISON phew. Okay, at this rate, I’m never gonna be able to demonstrate my dance, so perhaps if I GAHNOTAGAINTHISGUYNEEDSAMISTERYUKSTICKER

Loatheb
Oh sure, you get all the spores and the crit. I’ll just sit here, crying myself to sleep /huff

Ooooh Cobra Strikes you say? Wellllll maybe we can work something out here…

Instructor Razuvious
So wait, I don’t get to use one of the mind control thingies? But I would be so good at it! Look at these! These are what we in the industry call “opposable thumbs”. At least, I think they are…

Gothik the Harvester
Wha… I’m on… Defensive? Huh… …huh… …huh. I feel odd.

Four Horsemen

So lemme get this straight: I just sit here, while you shoot a guy in the face. By yourself. While everyone else is on the other end of the room. I totally don’t get you sometimes. Look, I’m gonna at least go help you eat him… AAAAHHHH IT BURNS. Okay… never mind… I’ll just sit here, I guess… twiddling my aforementioned opposable thumbs…

Patchwerk
[The following occurred roughly every 1.17 minutes:] AHAHAHAH RAWRRAWR BEAST WITHIN AHAHHA I AM A GOD AMONG PETS! I’LL COME TO THE LAND OF THE ICE AND SNOW, BEAST WITHIN AND CHEW YOUR FACE OFF GO!

Grobbulus
So I know this guy is scary and all but does it really give you an excuse to keep running off to the wall? Okay, I’ll tell ya what. Ol’ Washy will take care of it. You go stand by the wall, and I’ll Claw the guy to death. K? K. Oooh, pretty green circle. *zap*

Gluth
WHOA WHOA WHOA, waitaminute. First spiders. Then skeletons. Now zombies? I don’t think so. I’m just gonna sit up here in this tube until it’s all over. Sound like a plan? …DON’T YOU DARE SPAM PASSIVE AT ME!!

Thaddius
Okay, okay, you can quit with the Passive spam already, I got the point on the last fight. Hahaha, look at you poor suckers running back and forth. More proof of the superiority of us pets and being immune to everything ^_^ Oh, right, that Heigan guy. Never mind.

Sapphiron
Okay, so this Kel’Thuzad guy who owns the place… he’s really gotta start paying his power bill. I mean, I understand the economy is bad right now, I’m a knowledgeable dinosaur, but really, when everything is covered in a, ya know, sheet of ice, it’s time to make some concessions. There’s only so far the ice sculptures can go before they get tacky, anyway. Oh, hey Sapph, ‘Ice to meet you. [Here Tawyn /facepalms]

Kel’Thuzad
Banshees now? Tawyn, my fragile psyche would like to thank you for this excursion into my nightmares. Maybe we can get Locke to come next time and I’ll take a nice long break and…

Oooh, is that KT?

…can we Bestial Wrath now? Please? Pleeeeeease?

AHAHAHA YES OMNOMNOM!

Tawyn, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[End transmission]

Make a Title, Any Title

The Twitterati and I had a brief discussion about titles that weren’t in the game, but that we’d love to have regardless. Klinderas was fond of “Klinderas the Black” and Rilgon likes the ring of “Grand Master Engineer Rilgon”.

What about Pike?

Easy.

Tawyn of the Violet Eye.

Now if this were a real title, say, one you got at Exalted, I’ve no doubt a lot of raider types would shun this one due to the “CPT. KRZHN” stigma. It would be akin to running around with “Conqueror of Deadmines”* as your title or something. I say, screw that. If I had “Hand of A’dal” and could choose between that and “Of the Violet Eye”, I’d choose “Of the Violet Freakin’ Eye“. My rabid fangirly love of everything involving Medivh, Karazhan, and their lore wants to be sated. It wants it badly. Please Blizz? Like, at least a tabard? /plead

My other title would be Hunter Trainer. C’mon, that’d be awesome. Admit it.

Grand Master Alchemist wouldn’t be that bad either, really.

What about you guys? What title does your character want? (Feel free to answer either in a comment, or your own blog post =D)

* FYI, I would totally run around with that one too.

Cat Form

pikethekitty

But I am usually a tree on my rare occasions when I shapeshift out of hunter form! This is cat form!

Hmm. At least I can Bestial Wrath, right? Might not be so bad… actually might be kind of nice… rawr!

(thanks Krey for the screenshot of your kitty! Give her lotsa Spiced Mammoth Treats.)

PetQuilt

petquilt

Left to right, top to bottom:

Tux, Level 80; Locke, Level 80; Eltanin, Level 79; Wash, Level 80
Alyosha, Level 70; Ivan, Level 70; Serenity, Level 70; Dmitri, Level 70
Kolya, Level 33; Regulus, Level 38; Alnair, Level 39; Chakapas, Level 37
Clifford, Level 18; Fiskars, Level 18; Scraps, Level 14; Niels, Level 16

And yes, there’s more. Though they are sadly attached to hunters who I don’t play as often. (The pets of six different hunters are represented in this quilt.)

…and yes, looking at this picture fills me with warm fuzzies. <3

News Flash: Pike Is Creepy and a Weirdo!

I was sitting around in Stormwind and LFG trying to get into an easy heroic for badges since my new project is to kit all my alts out in Heirloom items. And just my luck, a random person proclaiming “LF1M DPS for Heroic UK!”

I whispered him. “I’ll go!”

No response for a good two minutes. I refreshed the Heroic UK LFG pane. He was still sitting there with three other group members.

I whispered him again. “No really! I provide massive quantities of shot rotation and even a trap or two, and I’ll also bring this [Lovely Cake]!”

No response. I refreshed LFG. An elemental shaman had popped up, and about ten seconds later, he and the original group of four were gone. I sighed and, admittedly a bit peeved for not even getting a single acknowledgment, sent one final whisper. “Well, good luck with your Heroic.”

And for the first time I got a reply. “Good luck with not being creepy to people you don’t know, you weirdo.”*

So-and-so is ignoring you.

*blinkblink*

Then I burst out laughing. I told my guild and we all had a good laugh. My goodness. This is what happens when you try to be silly and fun in LFG I guess. My bad for forgetting that this video game is serious business.

I got back in LFG. “DPS LF any heroic. Rumors of my creepiness have been greatly exaggerated. PST.”

Got a whisper from a level 65. “I wish I was a higher level so I could run with you, just for that. That’s all I’m gonna say.”

I said, “I’ve got a resto druid your level. Wanna do something?”

One Mana Tombs later and the druid got a level. All’s well that end’s well.

*Heavily translated from the original, very broken English

Coming Out of the Raid Closet

I am the stereotypical DPSer that every healer hates. I am the person that gets made fun of in trade channel. Who am I? I am Pike, and…

I HAVE NEVER LIVED THROUGH HEIGAN OR SARTH.

There. I said it.

Maybe it’s a graphics thing. I haven’t been able to see any bridges in the game, for example, or several building skins, since patch 2.2 or thereabouts. I’ve plummeted to my death in Thunder Bluff more times than I can count.

Maybe it’s a me-being-an-idiot thing. Hey, it’s more likely than you may (or may not?) think.

But whatever the reason, I cannot see these supposed waves of fire and lava that everyone else and their pet monkey can see.

My name is Pike, and I die on Heigan and Sarth.

/bow

Rumors of My Rerolling Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

So I have a paladin who I’ve been spending a little time on each day, and I have a resto druid who randomly wound up with her very first old-school Badge of Justice the other day (Yes, it is apparently quite possible for a level 65 tree to heal a level 80 tankadin through level 70 heroics), but you gotta understand something. Namely, you can take the girl outta the hunter but you can’t take the hunter outta the girl. Or something along those lines.

Heck, scratch the girl part, you can be a hot blood elf guy too:

wow_althalorlevel40portrait

Althalor is now level 40. For the uninitiated, that means I now have a level 80 hunter, a level 70 hunter, and a level 40 hunter. And once you toss all my dozens of sub-20 hunters into the mix, I’ve clocked well over 200 collective levels in this class. Probably closer to 250.

Yes, yes, I know. But hey, I can’t help myself. Once you go pewpew, you can’t go… uh… I’ll get back to you on that one.

So yes, I am here to ease the panic that sometimes occurs on blogs, comments, e-mails, and the WoW Twitterati (term coined by one Matticus) when I briefly dip into a non-hunter interlude. Be not afraid– Pike is a hunter, and this is a hunter blog. One lil’ treedrood and one lil’ baby protadin are no match for the Hunter Mafia. I mean, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the leveling of two little alts doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy World of Warcraft.

Eh? Ehhh? See what I did there?

/cough

Okay, I’ll stop now. >.>

(P.S. Okay, so maybe not that many people are panicking. But I can pretend, at least, to make it more dramatic.)

Dear John. I mean Steady Shot.

Dear Steady Shot,

We used to be such great friends. Oh how I loved getting to level 62 on my hunters so I could get you. Oh how excited I was. I loved weaving you between my Auto Shots so much. I dedicated instructional videos to you. I told people how fun you were. I gave you a special spot on my action bar. We had matching BFF necklaces. I carved a heart and “Pike + Steady Shot” into my resident resto druid. I’d tell people that I wished I could quit you, but I didn’t mean it of course, for how could we ever part?

It was a match made in heaven; the world was our burrito.

Then you decided to unlink yourself from Auto Shot, and it was good for DPS. But it came at a terrible cost. Suddenly all you cared about was being spammed. Suddenly that was all you wanted, and suddenly I just couldn’t press you fast enough.

And suddenly we weren’t friends anymore.

I pondered all my options, but none of them were really satisfactory. I could respec into something different that would allow me to use other, more welcoming shots, but my pets love being all strong and competitive and I couldn’t bring myself to take that away from them. I could play my lowbie hunters that didn’t have Steady Shot yet. And, actually, I have been doing just that. But then I miss Heroics and Raids so I come back to you, Steady Shot.

But then I realize that you stopped making Heroics and Raids fun a long time ago.

Well Steady Shot, it’s been a long ride, but it’s just not working out. You’re bein’ nerfed, and you will no longer be a key I have to unthinkingly pound. I caught up with an old friend lately. His name is Arcane Shot. He took me out to dinner the other night in Dalaran. He’s romantic and funny and you, Steady Shot, are just going to have to be his backup because it’s over between us.

No hard feelings; we simply had separate goals. I’ll cherish the good times, and remember– we’ll always have Kara.

Sincerely, Pike