Tag Archives: blatant clickbait

Top Ten Clearly Most Important Things to Know About Patch 6.2

The big patch is coming in about five days and hopefully this time we’ll get more than SELFIE cameras (I mean, I LOVE the selfies and the Twitter integration but come on Blizzard.)  So, what can we look forward to this time?  Well…

1. NOSTALGIA – aka timewalking.  TBC and WotLK friends, to me!  This is our hour.

2. TANAAN JUNGLE – aka “LOTSA NEW MONSTERS!  …okay well they’re new skins of old monsters, whatever.  New quests!  Okay, well they’re the same quests but BETTER REWARDS… okay well they’re not really better rewards they’re kind of  the same armor skins too you’re kind of lazy Blizzard BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT”

3. FLYING – aka finally I can do in five minutes what I’ve been doing in twenty MY BODY IS READY

4. SAYING FAREWELL TO ASPECT OF THE FOX – aka oh yeah we still have that spell?  Huh.

5. AIRCRAFT CARRIERS – aka what game is this again?  Am I playing World of Warcraft or am I playing Hearts of Iron II?

… huh.  I’m running out of stuff.  Okay let’s see here, lemme dig, I’m sure I can find something… A HA

6. PVP NERFS FOR HUNTERS!  Because you know I don’t lose Alterac Valley enough already… okay this isn’t really something to look forward to for me soooo moving on

7. BLINGTRON’S SECRET VAULT is gonna give us more money like, did you guys see this one?  MMO-Champion dug it up and I’m okay with it.

8. NEW RAID which is going to be unlocked…

…very…

…slowly…

…on LFR…

okay I’m starting to stall here, I’m honestly running out of stuff to say, so

9. AIRCRAFT CARRIERS

and 10. AIRCRAFT CARRIERS

Basically I’m here to collect my boats, Blizzard, give me my boats, please and thank you

Top 457 Things I Need In My Garrison

1. A bed.

2. More songs for my jukebox.  Remember that kazoo song from MoP?  Where is that, Blizzard?

3. Customizable building styles.  Level 3 Barracks get us racial guards but where’s our racial buildings, Blizzard?  Hmmmm?  Seriously just make it so different building styles cost garrison resources and then sit back and watch as us saps run around frantically doing garrison stuff again.

…okay, so that was three things.  I was only 454 off from my original estimate.  Not a huge difference, really.