Tree Is For FIGHT

So while my main account is out-of-commission, I’ve been dinking around on my second account, which is home to only a few little alties. The highest-level of them is a 61 tauren tree druid because just as I have an 80 Alliance Hunter and an 80 Horde Hunter, I also want an 80 Alliance Tree and an 80 Horde Tree, because that’s Just How I Am.

Anyways, the LFG tool has been great: as heals I can get a group within about ten seconds (in the rare event that “YOUR DUNGEON IS READY” doesn’t pop up immediately upon queuing). I’ve been doing the Random Instance thing near-daily, and all in all it’s been fun times.

Sooo today I queued up and got into a Ramparts group with three Death Knights and a warrior. The pulls start.

The first thing I notice is that pretty much everyone in the group is consistently taking damage. The second thing I notice is that nobody is holding aggro so half of the mobs keep ending up on me. Constantly.

“So, who’s tanking?” I asked after a couple pulls of this.

Three responses of “IDK” and one response of “everyone kind of is.”


“Umm, it’d be nice if we had a tank so I don’t have to keep spreading my heals out and running out of mana and pulling aggro as I do so,” I ventured.

“Don’t worry, I don’t pull aggro, I’m fury,” said the warrior as his health mysteriously plummeted like a rock.

At this point I was sort of tempted to tell the group “gotta go, house is on fire” or something, but I decided to continue on. How bad can it be, right?

Four wipes later we were at the first boss.

Lemme say that again. Four wipes later we were at the first boss.

It was here that somebody decided to randomly designate one of the DKs as a tank, and said DK said “ok” and then charged in with Blood Presence up. Halfway through the boss I realized I was Treetanking and since my barkskin + spam heals only go so far at level 61 I ended up kicking the bucket. Somehow most of the rest of the group survived, though, so it wasn’t entirely a loss!

We doggedly made our way up the ramp and into that big room that branches off to the two final bosses. I think we wiped another two or three more times in here but I’d lost count long before. It was here that I decided to pull up Recount out of curiosity: not only had all five people in the group taken roughly the same amount of damage, but I was sitting at a solid third at 20%. Tree Tank is 4 fite.

We took out that dragon boss first; miraculously nobody died, although yes, I was effectively tanking for a good portion of the fight.

After the boss went down and Hellreaver was distributed, one of the DKs said “ok see ya” and dropped group. A second DK– one who had spent the entire instance talking about how all of his gear was red, and subsequently not doing anything about it– followed suit. Three of us were left with one boss to go.

At this point I was kind of desperate; we’d somehow managed to get this far and I wasn’t about to quit now. “We can three-man it!” I said, exasperated. So we attempted to three-man Omar the Unscarred and failed miserably.

There I sat at the Spirit Healer, feeling a bit dejected. “Well, thanks for the group anyway,” I typed out in party chat.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, the warrior decided that we could do it and started doling out helpful tips for the DK. I was kind of shocked, wondering if this was the same guy who moments earlier had told me that he never pulls aggro, but hey, I wasn’t going to question it, and we all agreed to give it one more try. The three of us got ourselves up there, standing in front of the boss, and then pulled.

…so, I don’t care that it was a boss in normal Hellfire Ramparts, this was the most intense WoW fight I’ve been in since Hodir or medium-mode Iron Council or one of those crazy fights. Because we were taking so much longer than usual to down the guy, Omar was pulling trick after trick out of his little magic bag; tossing people into the air, flinging curses around, summoning felhunter adds– you name it, he was doing it. I was spamming heals like my life depended on it, which it quite literally did, and more than once my screen was flashing red and I was sure I would meet my doom when somehow a Swiftmend would pull me through. I frantically Tranquility’d at one part and popped Innervate not long after. That was right about when, as expected, I pulled aggro and tree-tanked the boss for at least ten seconds. The DK eventually regained aggro, fortunately.

I was still spamming buttons and using at least one heal at every global cooldown, and it was here that I realized that not only was I almost out of mana again and had no Innervate to use this time, but the boss was sitting at about 15% health.

So I did what I had to do.

Popped a mana potion, ran up to the boss, and started tree-punching him between heals. The boss was still going nuts; cursing people, throwing people in the air, and doing crazy AoEs and I was tree-punching him.

And then somehow he went down. My mana was shot. The warrior was still taking damage from something; I had enough mana left for one Rejuvenation on him which managed to save him from certain death as we all sat around afterward with less than 10% health each. The WoW gods were apparently pleased with me because Crystalfire Staff dropped. I rolled Need and won it.

Then I took my staff and hearthstoned and went as far, far away as I possibly could.

The moral of the story is: Don’t knock Tree Punch, it could save your life someday.

Oh, and for the love of all that is good and holy, if you are putting yourself in LFG as a tank (or healer), PLEASE BE PREPARED TO FILL THAT ROLE.


31 thoughts on “Tree Is For FIGHT”

  1. Unfortunately, some people have decided to sucker the new LFG system by saying they can tank, and of course not actually planning on tanking. Just so they can get in a group faster. It’s kind of annoying, really.

  2. The new LFG system has some amazing ups and downs. I’ve had some fantastic, fast mechanical runs, and I’ve had some that make me and others want to punch babies as you see here.

    I’m leveling a resto druid as well (just dinged 73!) and while the random is an amazing way to amase my set of badges for when I hit 80, I seem to get the same 3 DK, or a combo of DK/Pally/warr and no one wants to tank…but choose tank to get in. Le sigh.

    I will point out if you can heal thru most of what a PuG can throw at you, you can pretty much handle anything!

  3. My first ramparts run as a BM hunter was less than desirable…
    one random whisper and an agreeable response later, I’m summoned to the yawning portal to the dungeon… with me are a mage, two death knights, and an enhancement shaman guildie that I asked to pop heals. (desperate)
    Me: “So… who tanks?” I said, looking at the two Knights with blood presence, hoping one might be a frost tank in disguise.
    Everyone, in staggered motion: “I dunno”
    Me: “…please don’t tell me I’m expected to tank this… I’m 59!”

    And so we went!
    We actually DID manage to finish the instance, though I’m still not quite sure how we did it. Nibbles the croc went above and beyond the call of duty, though packs of caster mobs = bad.
    I think we wiped around 20 times, I’m amazed no one left group. Part of those wipes we caused because the healer-dps shaman had tunnel vision and would charge in and heal only himself while the rest of us saw our hp bars dwindle to nothing.
    “Healing is boring”, he exclaimed. Cue /facepalm

    Add to that the time I tanked stockades and deadmines… Is it weird that I have more tanking than dps experience as a hunter? _-_

  4. Ouch. Sounds like you had one heck of a time there, Pike. Of course, I’m back to trying to remember how to tank on Cas… yes, I took some time off, so I havve to get back in the habit.

    I will get there, just need to upgrade shoulders and a cloak and I’ll be in full epics. Now where did my guildmates go?

  5. hehe, this reminds me a deadmines run I did the other day on my baby demo lock ๐Ÿ˜› picture this – druid healer and pally tank… except pally has all his talent points in holy and druid has all his points in feral… and neither of them switch roles. or and druid would switch to cat in oh crap situations but not bear O_o. a mage who thought that dps on a weapon actually matters to him and rolled need on a melee sword… and yet passed on caster gloves (even though his were most definitely worse). and an enchance shammy who would end up tanking most of the time ๐Ÿ˜›

    this is the power demonology warlock and well times drain life/herbalism self heal. i actually died the least ๐Ÿ˜› I’m so glad that soul stone CD is now 15 minutes instead of 30 O_o. we never did finish the instance, but for some strange reason – I had ridiculous ammount of fun O-o it must be the ability to do all the wrong things in an improper way and get it working anyway. And sometimes that wrong thing is what saves the day…like your tree punch! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. I second that last sentence of yours a hundred times! My mind boggled the other day when I got into a normal Utgarde Keep run, and just as we zoned in the warrior tank – who was fully kitted out in tanking epics from Black Temple I might add – said that he actually didn’t want to tank… and then he even had the gall to tell one of the proper dpsers to leave so he could fill their dps slot and we could find another tank. W. T. F.

  7. That is my biggest peeve with this system. Plate DPS will queue up as tanks just so they can get instant groups and you’re stuck with the plate dps asking who is going to tank. So frickin’ infuriating.

  8. Ironically, what you resorted to out of desperation is what my tree does to keep himself entertained during random heroics where not much healing is required, only not in tree form, in tauren form…working on my mace and unarmed skills, both at 399. Should be entertaining when we’re fighting a boss and I get the Knuckle Sandwich achievement. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Thank you for this post! After several hours of chain-instance runs today on my alt druid, this story eased my frustration and made me smile. I am truly starting to appreciate the power of the druid, and I could feel your exhilaration in finally beating that end boss! (Also, when I was level 30 I mentioned to a friend that the best part about being a low level was not having to deal with a single DK. Now that I’m up to 60 I’m at my wits end with them. Mostly the ones who don’t understand that when I ask them “Please don’t pull aggro” I also mean “Please don’t death grip everything in sight.”) You have a great blog and I’m glad I found it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Ive got to the point in my wow life where i DESPISE, yes DESPISE running random dungeons with:
    A. DPS Warriors.
    B. DPS Pallies.
    C. DPS DK’s.
    and D. Melee DPS Druids.

    1. All these scrubs are too lazy/incompetent to tank.
    2. Massive lack of tanks means that whenever i want to do an instance on my hunter or healer, i have to sit in queue for 30minutes (less so on my healer).
    3. When im on my geared tank, LFG never takes more than 3seconds.
    4. Thus there is a serious tank shortage that all the SCRUBS are not helping with by refusing to spec tank.
    5. Said scrubs Always are last on the dps charts, often below my tank when im on that toon.
    6. When asked why they dont tank I ALWAYS get the reply
    “Oh, thats too hard luls”

    IMHO there should be 2 DPS queues in the LFG tool. One for pure dps classes and another for hybrid classes that can tank. They hybrids get a lower priority.

    Or better yet, I earn LFG Brownie Points when i tank or heal, so i can “spend” them to get my hunter into the next available group, rather than having to wait for half an hour.

  11. Ugh, I’m sorry you got stuck in a shitty run, but yay for random exciting moments! You certainly won’t be forgetting that fight for a long time.

  12. “Popped a mana potion, ran up to the boss, and started tree-punching him between heals. The boss was still going nuts; cursing people, throwing people in the air, and doing crazy AoEs and I was tree-punching him.”

    Wow… I’ve heard of nasty boss fights before, but I’ve never actually been in a fight where the boss would resort to foul language against me…

    …wait, you mean it’s the other type of cursing? The one with black magic? >.<

  13. Hah! I whack stuff with my staff when I’m healing on my 64 druid too! ๐Ÿ˜€

    (I don’t have tree form for tree punching…. I went up to Swiftmend but all points after are in feral)

  14. Great story! Keep playing that tree please! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m leveling a Resto druid through the Outlands dungeons myself, and that story coulda been me like 10 days ago. I’m at about 67-3/4 now, almost ready to make the leap to Northrend and start banking emblems. But I’d love to keep hearing about your arboreal Outland adventures!

  15. I’m tanking on my Druid in the LFG at the moment, hit 66 over the weekend so finally out of doing Slave Pens/Underbog and I’ll have to admit that if I get a DPS warrior of DK in the group I /facepalm as I know at some point they’re going to do something silly. I especially enjoy telling a group I am going to do a corner pull, mark up a skull for the first target mob pop a Faerie Fire and leg it around a corner waiting to swipe my little bear herat out, only for the mobs to not even get to the corner before somebody chucks down a Death and Decay or leaps into DPSing. What I am noticing now I have started tanking is those DPS that purposefully target a different mob to the rest of teh group in order to keep their DPS scores high…. there’s no I in team or group nublets!

  16. Pike – I feel your pain. I’ve got a druid about the same level (63 I believe) and I’ve ran ramp a few times. First time we four manned it. Mind you that was my FIRST time healing of any sort, but never wiped. Also helped that we had an all alt run. And then it just went downhill from there. This was all before the new LFG, so I’m now a bit scared to see what happens when I jump back on my druid (trying to get hunter to 80 ASAP…already have a Tank/DPS warrior!)

  17. I have yet to run a random dungeon on anything but my main. I guess I have been lucky. Only one group had a less than stellar tank ( and he was still pretty good) and I have yet to have had a wipe…and often have downed bosses in record times.

    My favourite experience was going into Gundrak with a group where there seemed to be no tank. There were two night elf druids with similar names (one male and one female) both with less hp than me. I was thinking “this is not going to be pretty”. The guy runs into the first pull…I misdirect…and then he turns into a bear “with more HP than God” and the girl pops into a Boomkin and lets loose with a freaking AOE that made my volley look like sunshine. I could have put Omogon on “follow” and stood back and watched LOL

  18. I’ve only played my paladin, so I don’t completely understand the aversion to melee range so many casters exhibit. I will say, though, that whacking on the boss when Judgement of Wisdom is applied has to be one of the sweetest things for a healer. “Holy is for bottomless mana pool”.

  19. That’s correct, Pike, if you’re running a unit frames addon (like xperl which I use) you won’t see the little icons on people that tell you what role the queued as.

  20. Guess this explains why people seem shocked when my Pally rolls up and actually tanks…. several people were shocked that I was packing +def gear. I’ve had healers claiming I wasn’t taking enough damage… “go faster”.. I’ve run all 3 DPS out of mana, but not the healer. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. Pitbull supports role icons now, as does Shadowed UF, I believe. Don’t know about others, but I’d assume they’re working on it if they don’t have it already.

  22. This made my tree main laugh hysterically and applaud you! My hunter (with aspirations to take over as my main) raises an eyebrow in disturbed awe.

    GJ!!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Nightfall also has role icons, and we’re swift to kick each other if not filling the role. Not-so-swift to kick for any other reason.

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