I made a summoning circle for it.
I can’t remember. Did I? Perhaps I did. It was a long time ago.
Seven years ago, to be precise.
World of Warcraft was still everywhere in those days because there were 12 million subscribers. It was a pop culture phenomenon. So it a pretty common thing for comedy articles taking the piss out of it to exist. Such as this one on Cracked.
…with a blood elf who looks suspiciously like the one in the picture…
…wait a minute…
Forever immortalized on the internet at level ten. Poor guy.
Hey, he’s still got that cat!
…that happened after the Siege of Dalaran. Grand Magister Rommath got himself a popsicle, turned to Jaina and Vereesa and said…
Sorry for the lack of actual content posts the last couple of days. I haven’t really had anything in particular to talk about. Got something for me to talk about? Lemme know!
I mean, seriously.
Okay, seriously, I have never, in the eight years it’s been since Burning Crusade, been able to navigate this thing. Ever. It used to be I’d have to hearthstone to get out. Recently I ran in as a Horde character with for the Midsummer achivement and guess what, I had to hearth out. After spending like ten minutes trying to find the stupid bonfire to begin with.
The Exodar and me just don’t get along. We just don’t. It’s probably because it knows that I’m actually a blood elf in real life and is doing this just to spite me.
Is it just me? Please tell me it’s not just me.
Okay. Do you guys see this thing? This thing right here?
I got it for the Fourth of July or whatever the Warcraft Universe equivalent is (Fireworks Spectacular or some such.) Anyways it’s pretty neat because it gives you slowfall and the cooldown is only five seconds so you can give yourself slowfall basically as much as you want.
You will notice that it says “Duration: 1 day”. That’s because one day after the fireworks show was over, the mug became empty and I couldn’t use it anymore. So I tossed it.
The next day I logged in and it was, mysteriously, back in my bags. And full again.
That’s right about when I decided that Blizzard’s bug is my gain because now I have instant slowfall whenever I want it!
It’s a keychain of everybody’s favorite racial leader, Lor’themar Theron! (And if he’s not your favorite, he should be.)
You can get your own, or pick a different character, at this Etsy store right here.
Now one of the best characters in game can go with me everywhere!
What kind of dorky WoW stuff do YOU have, if anything?
No one knows who this guy is and that’s sad. That’s sad because Lor’themar is the best. Full stop. He has an interesting story, he throws benches in fountains when he gets mad, and he has a kickin’ rad eyepatch. Speaking of which, let’s start the list:
1. He has a kickin’ rad eyepatch
Alright, look at this. Look how cool he is. See that eyepatch? No one else can pull it off. No one else can be as rugged and gorgeous, at the same time, as Lor’themar.
2. He got the eyepatch being badass and fighting the Scourge
In case you have been living under a rock in the middle of the Barrens somewhere, during the Third War, the Scourge invaded Quel’thalas. Lor’themar, a Ranger Lord of the Farstriders, was scouting around Zul’Aman for troll activity when he noticed something odd happening. Upon going to investigate he stumbled into a bunch of re-animated dead elves. Lor’themar managed to push aside his shock and fight back – losing an eye in the process, but on the plus side now he looks super cool.
3. He took over after the Scourge invasion because damn straight he did
Lor’themar was always a brilliant tactician and soldier. He was second-in-command to Sylvanas Windrunner during the Second War, and when Sylvanas met an ill fate during the Third he promptly took charge and gathered up all the survivors that he could find. Kael’thas was so impressed that he put Lor’themar in charge of everything until he could come back later. Which brings us to our next point…
4. JUST KIDDING, Kael’thas went nuts so now Lor’themar is still in charge
Lor’themar never really wanted to be in charge of all of Quel’thalas, because why would he? He’s a badass ranger who is really good at killing things and telling his men how to kill things. But what else was he supposed to do when Kael betrayed his own people and forced them into a Civil War? Well I’ll tell you what Lor’themar did, he just stayed in charge because they needed him to, and he knew that. Silvermoon expects that every elf will do his duty.
5. Lor’themar will mess you up if you mess with the blood elves
And there will be two hits: him hitting you, and you hitting the ground. He loves his people and his homeland and you do NOT want to get on his bad side because you’ll know when he’s mad. Because…
6. He flings benches into fountains when he gets angry
This actually happens at the end of the Divine Bell questline if you’re Horde. It’s worth doing the entire time-gated questline just so you can view this awesome moment.
7. If Alliance try to attack him he casts Mass Charm on them
Because he’s just so charming :3
8. He carries around more baggage than a jumbo jet
Random sampling of stuff Lor’themar is either largely or solely responsible for:
Basically he is either directly or indirectly responsible for a great deal of Bad Things. But he shoulders these burdens because…
9. That’s just what he does
Lor’themar is a Farstrider who is stuck being, well, decisively not a Farstrider. It kinda sucks, but much like the sin’dorei have their own less-than-ideal lot in life at the moment, so too does Lor’themar. Sacrifices have got to be made if Silvermoon and Quel’thalas are ever to return to their former glory.
10. He’s smokin’ hot
And he has two smokin’ hot advisors named Halduron and Rommath and all three of them are gonna mess up your day. Or alternatively cause you to drool all over yourself. Depending on which way you swing.
TLDR Lor’themar is the best racial leader in World of Warcraft. And now you know.
Althalor likes to collect little pets – probably because he likes animals (he’s a Beast Master, after all) and also because he’s a sensitive sucker for things that were orphaned like he was. Then he shows them off to his best friend Cadyna. Like so. (And then she promptly pretends that she has no idea who he is.)
Cookies to all of you who get the reference in the quote!
This has been a Cop-Out Post brought to you by the fact that I’m going on vacation tomorrow so I’ve been running around getting ready for that. I will be sans-WoW for a week but I plan on still writing lots of posts when I can. See you guys on the other side!