Okay. Do you guys see this thing? This thing right here?
I got it for the Fourth of July or whatever the Warcraft Universe equivalent is (Fireworks Spectacular or some such.) Anyways it’s pretty neat because it gives you slowfall and the cooldown is only five seconds so you can give yourself slowfall basically as much as you want.
You will notice that it says “Duration: 1 day”. That’s because one day after the fireworks show was over, the mug became empty and I couldn’t use it anymore. So I tossed it.
The next day I logged in and it was, mysteriously, back in my bags. And full again.
That’s right about when I decided that Blizzard’s bug is my gain because now I have instant slowfall whenever I want it!
I keep wondering when (or if) this thing is ever gonna disappear. I mean, it’s been a month. But for now it’s my little secret. Don’t tell Blizzard. Shhhhhh!!!
No one knows who this guy is and that’s sad. That’s sad because Lor’themar is the best. Full stop. He has an interesting story, he throws benches in fountains when he gets mad, and he has a kickin’ rad eyepatch. Speaking of which, let’s start the list:
1. He has a kickin’ rad eyepatch
Alright, look at this. Look how cool he is. See that eyepatch? No one else can pull it off. No one else can be as rugged and gorgeous, at the same time, as Lor’themar.
2. He got the eyepatch being badass and fighting the Scourge
In case you have been living under a rock in the middle of the Barrens somewhere, during the Third War, the Scourge invaded Quel’thalas. Lor’themar, a Ranger Lord of the Farstriders, was scouting around Zul’Aman for troll activity when he noticed something odd happening. Upon going to investigate he stumbled into a bunch of re-animated dead elves. Lor’themar managed to push aside his shock and fight back – losing an eye in the process, but on the plus side now he looks super cool.
3. He took over after the Scourge invasion because damn straight he did
Lor’themar was always a brilliant tactician and soldier. He was second-in-command to Sylvanas Windrunner during the Second War, and when Sylvanas met an ill fate during the Third he promptly took charge and gathered up all the survivors that he could find. Kael’thas was so impressed that he put Lor’themar in charge of everything until he could come back later. Which brings us to our next point…
4. JUST KIDDING, Kael’thas went nuts so now Lor’themar is still in charge
Lor’themar never really wanted to be in charge of all of Quel’thalas, because why would he? He’s a badass ranger who is really good at killing things and telling his men how to kill things. But what else was he supposed to do when Kael betrayed his own people and forced them into a Civil War? Well I’ll tell you what Lor’themar did, he just stayed in charge because they needed him to, and he knew that. Silvermoon expects that every elf will do his duty.
5. Lor’themar will mess you up if you mess with the blood elves
And there will be two hits: him hitting you, and you hitting the ground. He loves his people and his homeland and you do NOT want to get on his bad side because you’ll know when he’s mad. Because…
6. He flings benches into fountains when he gets angry
This actually happens at the end of the Divine Bell questline if you’re Horde. It’s worth doing the entire time-gated questline just so you can view this awesome moment.
7. If Alliance try to attack him he casts Mass Charm on them
Because he’s just so charming :3
8. He carries around more baggage than a jumbo jet
Random sampling of stuff Lor’themar is either largely or solely responsible for:
Telling his old friend Dar’khan Drathir all about the Sunwell’s defenses because why not (Dar’khan immediately turned around and gave Arthas all the juicy details)
Kicking the high elves out of Silvermoon when they decided they didn’t want cool green glowy eyes not to siphon magic from living creatures
Asking the blood elves to fight in wars that are not really theirs or that they do not have available forces for, because they have no other choice
Basically he is either directly or indirectly responsible for a great deal of Bad Things. But he shoulders these burdens because…
9. That’s just what he does
Lor’themar is a Farstrider who is stuck being, well, decisively not a Farstrider. It kinda sucks, but much like the sin’dorei have their own less-than-ideal lot in life at the moment, so too does Lor’themar. Sacrifices have got to be made if Silvermoon and Quel’thalas are ever to return to their former glory.
10. He’s smokin’ hot
And he has two smokin’ hot advisors named Halduron and Rommath and all three of them are gonna mess up your day. Or alternatively cause you to drool all over yourself. Depending on which way you swing.
TLDR Lor’themar is the best racial leader in World of Warcraft. And now you know.
Althalor likes to collect little pets – probably because he likes animals (he’s a Beast Master, after all) and also because he’s a sensitive sucker for things that were orphaned like he was. Then he shows them off to his best friend Cadyna. Like so. (And then she promptly pretends that she has no idea who he is.)
Cookies to all of you who get the reference in the quote!
This has been a Cop-Out Post brought to you by the fact that I’m going on vacation tomorrow so I’ve been running around getting ready for that. I will be sans-WoW for a week but I plan on still writing lots of posts when I can. See you guys on the other side!
I remember back in the day when the Darkmoon Faire involved going to Goldshire and… … …???… ??????/….. … …I don’t know. Chasing that one kid around I guess? I never really did figure out how the old Darkmoon Faire worked. Heck, after a couple of glances I stopped paying attention to it entirely.
But at some point a few years back Blizzard redid the Darkmoon Faire and it’s absolutely amazing. It actually feels like a fair! And there’s actually fun stuff to do! I go every day and do all my dailies there just because it’s so much fun. (except the new Ring Toss because it’s BS).
I’m not the only one, am I? Who else out there LOVES the Darkmoon Faire?
P.S. The proper way to do the Darkmoon Faire is to do it whilst listening to this song:
There have been a lot of changes in WoW since the last time I played. A lot of these are pretty great, but some are not-so-great. Here’s my own personal list of the not-so-great:
5. Lack of Hunter Stat Sticks
I’m fine with getting rid of minimum range (good luck getting me to break the habit of keeping range though), but how am I supposed to carry both Wolfslayer Sniper Rifle AND Legacy now? Pike is not impressed.
LEGO RATING: Mild.
4. Chess Event is Bugged
All I want to do is to solo Karazhan but as of 5.0.4 Medivh now cheats every ten seconds instead of every minute. Have fun doing this one solo! Especially when nobody tells you of the bug and you spend an hour trying to do it.
LEGO RATING: That long skinny piece.
3. Wailing Caverns is Still In The Game
I will fiercely defend stuff like BRD and Gnomeregan until the end of time but Wailing Caverns is just something else entirely. The great part is that Blizzard said something like “Hey guys, we’re nerfing Wailing Caverns to make it easier!” but in reality their idea of a nerf is as follows:
LEGO RATING: That pointy triangle piece.
2. You Can Still Get Sunken Temple as a Random Dungeon
Accurate depiction of what I do when that happens:
LEGO RATING: Two pointy triangle pieces.
1. Gnomes Still Can’t Be Hunters
LEGO RATING: All the legos that you need to build a Turbo-Charged Flying Machine.
Am I the only person who has never, ever been bothered by the roaring log-in screen dragon? I mean really. It’s not that loud. (At least it’s not on my computer.) And it’s kind of cool.
…I mean, I know I’m also the weirdo that is too lazy to turn on Instant Quest Text, and who had the profanity filter on for like three years because… well, for the same reason. The lazy thing. (Besides, when I talk, it’s usually like Napoleon Dynamite. Gosh. And when other people talk you can figure out what they’re actually saying through context, it’s not that difficult.)
Heck, let’s make a list.
TOP THREE THINGS IN WOW THAT ANNOY EVERYONE ELSE BUT DON’T ANNOY ME:
1.) Log-in Screen Dragon 2.) Slow Quest Text 3.) Profanity Filter
…and for good measure, let’s toss in
TOP THREE THINGS IN WOW THAT ANNOY ME BUT PROBABLY NOT ANYONE ELSE:
1.) Not having at least one point in Improved Mend Pet because having debuffs on my pet make me go ASDGIHWEIOATJSKGH *panicflail* 2.) Tiger mounts, because they still remind me of Lisa Frank stickers and three-ring binders. 3.) Logging out with unused healthstones. I just feel bad because the warlock went through all that trouble to make healthstones and then you just forget about it. Seriously, I NEVER REMEMBER to use the stupid healthstone. Sometimes, before logging out, I’ll go hurl myself off of a cliff somewhere so I can take damage just so I can use the healthstone. Hey, I never said I made sense.