I’ve mostly been taking Mists of Pandaria nice and slow, as the pandaren themselves like to say. I’ve been inching my way through dailies and doing a couple of scenarios here and there and doing old content for transmog and unsuccessfully trying to convince myself that I don’t roleplay. *cough* I haven’t really focused on gearing or anything because I can always do that later, right?

Today, though, Mister Adequate and I tossed ourselves into a heroic just for fun. And we wound up with a Grade A Jerkball Healer who enjoyed telling us that we were the “worst DPS this expac” and other things even though there were no wipes or major issues. He also then promptly needed on things that he did not need and which would have been upgrades for Mister Adequate (Jerkball won the rolls, of course). Yes because obviously that’s how you help lower-geared players gear up! Nice logic there, broseph!

Anyways, then it got me wondering. Was I doing anything wrong? I knew my own DPS was low, but I figured it was just my gear. I can still hunter, right? I have been huntering since 2007, after all. Perhaps I had lost my magic touch? Perhaps I should hang up the gun right there and retire from Massive Quantities of Sustained Ranged DPS forever?

Suddenly I had to find out.

I rushed off to the nearest training dummy and pounded away on it for about five minutes. I carefully weaved my shots and timed my cooldowns and watched my procs and my DoTs. Then I took careful note of Recount, and rushed off to a place I literally have not been to since I was raiding in early Wrath of the Lich King: FemaleDwarf.com, the Hunter DPS analyzer.

I loaded in my Armory, set my shots the way I was doing them, and hit “Update DPS”



Well, what do you know.

My recount is within ten DPS of what FemaleDwarf was telling me was my theoretical high.

Huh.

So I can still hunter.

Something clicked inside me. I need to show all these jerkball PuGs exactly what the Worst DPS This Expac can do.

So I ran to the auction house. I spent about 5000g on every available MoP hunter enchant. I enchanted blues and greens; I didn’t care. Everything got enchanted. Then I bought a bunch of flasks. Then I went back to the training dummies.

My DPS has gone through the roof.

It’s time.

No More Mister Nice Pike.

Tomorrow everything gets reforged. It’s going to be beautiful.

7 Responses to “No More Mr. Nice Pike.”
  1. Gybs says:

    As i replied on twitter (awayfromlife). Your hit and expertise is whats letting you down more than gear and enchants i think. They’ll come in time, but missed and dodged shots isn’t good. pay no mind to the nasties you’ll find in lfd; its just a cess pool.

  2. Pike says:

    Don’t worry Gybs, I’m well aware of my hit and expertise. I cry over those two caps and how much of a pain they are every day. I’m going to go maximum reforge tomorrow, I think. (Even more than I’m already reforging for them!)

  3. Ratshag says:

    I need to hurry up and get one of my Hordelings to 90, so I can manipulate you into running stuff with me…

  4. Esk says:

    Haha, sounds very familiar!
    After dinging 90 I did the HH and bottomed the DPS charts while a level 89 rogue surpassed me; ouch!
    I was still in level 88 quest greens & blues, so pretty sure that was it as I wasn’t a bad DPS at all when I still ran many heroics in WOTLK.
    It does take a chunk out of your confidence though.
    Glad to know that splurging may help :)

  5. Markus says:

    I’ve encountered people like that. I never let it get to me since I’m never the lowest dps, even when I’m fresh into a new x-pac. And spending time and energy replying to their idiocy just lowers my dps. So I just ignore them. :)

  6. Guntitan says:

    Welcome back. I am still trying to get all my toons to at least 89. I want them holiday mounts.

  7. Omogon says:

    give ‘em hell Pike ! I can never seem to match my numbers on Zeherah’s site but I’m doing OK. What I find really nice is when the idiot tank dies and I hit MD, growl and tank the boss to the end…..and then “fart in his general direction”…because my turtle Harry is a better tank than he was :D

    If you start to raid ..even LFR….most of us find that we do insane burst but fall off as the fight goes on.

  8.  
World of Warcraft™ and Blizzard Entertainment® are all trademarks or registered trademarks of Blizzard Entertainment in the United States and/or other countries. These terms and all related materials, logos, and images are copyright © Blizzard Entertainment. This site is in no way associated with Blizzard Entertainment®