So I’ve been doing random heroics every day. My goal with this is to be able to have enough badges to use them like candy when I pamper all my alts. And I have a lot of alts these days. I’ve actually got a pretty expansive list of the BoAs that I still need to buy. (Because I’m spoiled and now I can’t bear to level an alt without BoAs.)
That was the first bit of backstory for this. The second bit of backstory is that I’m currently sporting my “of the Shattered Sun” title. The reason is actually because a few weeks back I thought it would be funny to pull all of my level 70 gear out of the bank (I still have every piece– trinkets and all) and then add my Shattered Sun title and walk around Stormwind like old times. So I did. It only lasted about an hour before I got bored and put all the 70 gear back in the bank. The Shattered Sun title stuck around, though… because why not? I’d been using “of the Nightfall” for a billion years and I’d been contemplating switching to something else anyway.
So enter the random I did yesterday. We zone in and start the instance. All is well, right? It is, until two people from the same server/guild decide to start regaling me with such poetic and eloquent statements as “lol did ur mum pay for ur shattered sun title for u.”
I sized these people up– both are “the Kingslayer”, and honestly, considering the way they were acting and that we wiped on the second pull in the dungeon (did I mention one of these people was the “healer”), I am nearly positive that these people just got their Kingslayer like… yesterday, now that the 30% buff is out.
Anyways the group disbands due to sheer fail moments after this, and I am left wondering if any of these people ever read “The Sneetches”. Did you? Classic Dr. Seuss, this.
The summary is something like this: There is a species who are called Sneetches, and there are two kinds: those with stars on their bellies, and those without. The ones with stars proclaim themselves to be superior by right of this star, until a guy shows up with a machine that gives stars to un-starred Sneetches. The “original” starred Sneetches, horrified that they have to be on equal footing with these newcomers, decide that stars are now out of style and de-star themselves, because they need to find a way to differentiate themselves. And hilarity ensues.
It would be really easy to re-write this for WoW.
Then along came Blizzard McMonkey McBean
With a magical epics-bestowing machine
“Badges for all!” he said, “Do not fear!”
“Soon everybody will have the best gear!”
So they clambered inside and the Badge Machine roared.
It bonked. It clonked. It jerked. It berked.
It bopped them around, but the thing really worked!
They yelled at the ones who had epics from the start,
“We’re exactly like you; you can’t tell us apart.
We’re all just the same now, you snooty old smarties.
Now you can invite us to your heroic parties!”
“Good grief!” groaned one who had gear from the first.
“We’re still the best Sneetches, and they are the worst.
But how in the world will we know,” they all frowned,
“if which kind is what or the other way ’round?”
So Blizzard stepped up with a very sly wink,
And said “Things are not quite as bad as you think.”
The style has changed all over again–
Epics are Out, and Titles are In!
The Sneetches, of course, figured out how silly the whole thing was by the end– whether or not actual people are capable of the same has yet to be determined.
…okay, I’ll admit, this whole post was basically just an excuse to rhyme like Dr. Seuss (I’m a poet and I don’t even know it.) Now it’s time for Heroics again. Maybe I’ll be lucky and get a good group (you have no idea how badly I want to rhyme that with “soup”.)
Someday I’ll have all the badges I need for alts… until then, as a wise band once said, I wanna be sedated.
(As a side note, does anybody else think it would be hilarious to re-do the music video, but with dragons and demons and stuff walking around in the background, and your Heroic party of five sitting bored at the table? It would be the most fitting music video EVAR.)